Mindless drivel: January 2006

Mindless drivel

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Thank god

I always thought my depression was caused by events such as a loss of a loved one but now I have seen the light! The REAL root of depression is not being able to fullfill my wife sexually. Fortunately, I got this email from the good folks at MAXAMAN:

A recent survey showed that 68% of women are unsatisfied with their sexual partners. Of course most of these women would never tell their partner that they are unhappy.
Not being able to fully satisfy a woman can result in depression and feelings of inadequacy. Thankfully, men of all ages can now safely and naturally enhance their body and penis anatomy and renew sexual vitality without resorting to dangerous surgery.
The all natural proprietary blend of unique herbs found in Maxaman is designed to restore blood flow to your penis, unleash stored testosterone, and heighten sensation by activating the body's natural hormone production and supplying vital nutrients necessary for peak sexual performance.

With the help of Maxaman, I will no longer be a Miniman!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Another unbelievable offer!

Got another amazing offer today from a kind soul named Louis Orr. I thought our mortgage payment was pretty good until I read the email below. Why have a reasonable payment when you can get the 'rock-bottom' variety! The approval process only takes ONE MINUTE! EVEN BETTER! AWESOME!!! Sign me up!
I'm sure giving out highly sensitive and personal information to a company such as "Firstchoice X" is perfectly safe! Right? What could go wrong?


I sent you an email last week and need to confirm everything now.
Please read the info below and let me know if you have any questions.

We are accepting your mortgage refi application. If you have poor credit, it is ok. You can get a refinance loan for a rock-bottom payment.
Approval process will take one minute. Just visit the link below and fill in the short form.

Manager: Louis Orr

Thursday, January 19, 2006

My new hero

Read an interview with U.S. skier Bode Miller. Dude is my new hero! Check out this entry..

At the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City, Miller pulled off a performance for the ages in the alpine combined. He fell to his hip at 80mph during the downhill leg, somehow regained his balance and finished the run, then charged back into medal contention with a monster first run on the slalom course. He wound up with an improbable silver medal. The hometown crowd was delirious, and Miller was beaming. "That's exactly why I wanted to stop" and bail on Torino, he says. "People would say to me, 'You have to go back because you didn't get your gold, right?' And I was, like, 'F---, no!' I satisfied my desire for Olympic success beyond what I ever thought possible. I can just about guarantee you that I will not surpass that this time around. That was miracle s--t that happened in Salt Lake."

The guy is brutally honest...love his candor.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Miracle product

I got an electronic mail message from a company concerned about my reproductive capabilities. Here's the text...

SPERMAMAX is a scientifically validated herbal nutritional blend to enhance fertility by improving sperm quality, count and motility (spontaneous motion).
SPERMAMAX is formulated to:
+ Improve overall sperm production
+ Improve sperm quality
+ Improve sperm integrity
+ Improve sperm motility
+ Improve sperm morphology

One of my new year's resolutions was to improve my sperm's integrity so this product became available at the most opportune time!

God bless you spermamax, God bless you!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

The Media in 2014?

The Poynter Institute created a future of the media project that is a real eye-opener. The year is 2014, newspapers are dead, Google and Amazon merge to dominate all media content after a supreme court fight against the New York Times. It's a world where news is created by computers and taylored to what individual consumers want. Sound far-fetched? Think of how news is delivered currently and how much the media landscape has changed in the past 5 years. Check out the presentation yourself here: http://www.idorosen.com/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/

Thursday, January 12, 2006


Truthiness is the word of 2005, according to the American Dialect Society. Colbert Nation, enjoy the sweet smell of truth!

Text from the Dialect Society site:

Truthiness refers to the quality of preferring concepts or facts one wishes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true. As Stephen Colbert put it, "I don’t trust books. They’re all fact, no heart."

Other nominees:

- whale tail: the appearance of thong or g-string underwear above the waistband
of pants, shorts, or a skirt. Also known as a longhorn.

- muffin top: the bulge of flesh hanging over the top of low-rider jeans.

- Whizzinator: a trademarked urinating device using a realistic prosthetic penis and synthetic urine in order to pass a drug test.

Best Tom-Cruise-Related

Word: Cruiselex


- jump the couch: to exhibit strange or frenetic behavior. Inspired by the couchbouncing antics of Tom Cruise on Oprah Winfrey's talk show in May. It derives from an earlier term, jump the shark, meaning to (irretrievably) diminish in quality; to outlast public interest or popular support.

- TomKat: the celebrity couple of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. 1
- Cruisazy: crazy in the manner of Tom Cruise.

Check out American Dialect's PDF at http://www.americandialect.org/Words_of_the_Year_2005.pdf

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Orlando Tragic

Another loss last night by the boys in blue. This time, it was a 90-73 debacle won by the Clippers. Amazingly, they are still in second place in the southeast division despite a 13-19 record. Good lord that's awful.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


Check out the typo in this caption....Yikes! This poor girl's life is ruined. Sorry about that!

Welcome to Orlando: land of Mickey, soccer players and swingers???

These people "put the grrr in swinger, baby!!"

Swingers unnerve families at hotel
Parents say young soccer players saw more than they bargained for.

Terry O. Roen, Orlando Sentinel Staff Writer
January 3, 2006
Soccer families and swingers do not mix. Especially when the parents of adolescent soccer players checked their daughters into a hotel that was hosting a New Year's Eve party for more than 200 self-described swingers, who had reserved a downstairs ballroom along with rooms on the ninth floor.Parents who traveled from South Carolina and Clearwater to bring their 11- to 13-year-old daughters to a five-day soccer tournament said they were shocked by the parade of sexually adventurous partygoers who sashayed through the glass-enclosed atrium, sometimes flashing breasts and bare buttocks in front of their children.They described the dress of some of the swingers at the Crowne Plaza Hotel-Airport in Orlando as "raunchy, despicable and worse than prostitutes." "We thought we were coming to Orlando, not the Las Vegas Strip," said the father of a 13-year-old who plays on the Clearwater Chargers, a group of 13-and-under players.

Read the entire article HERE.